053016-Turning Point
teasingAsperity TA began trolling aproposProphetiae AP at 15:30 -- TA: She wakes up in the Archives and rubs her eyes, as though trying to wipe away tears again. "What did I do?" She mumbles to herself before surveying the damage to the room, as though seeing it through new eyes. Her anger and obsession with order cause her to get up and start cleaning up her mess. TA: She is not quiet. AP: There's sounds of a strife from behind a new door in her room. TA: She pauses in her cleaning and walks over to the door. Lorcan opens it and growls as loudly as she can. "What the fuck are you doing in here!" AP: Inside is Nyarla lazily swinging at...Nyarla, at least, if Nyarla were pushing two hundred sweeps. The older Nyarla's struggling to weave betweent the blows, but the fight pauses when the door opens. The younger Nyarla faints as the older one responds. "Training." His voice is raspy and hollow. It's wonder he's loud enough to be heard. TA: Lorcan takes stock of what's going on and grips the doorframe in one hand. TA: "What did you do." Her voice is quiet. AP: He lays down next to his younger self, kicking him awake and falling asleep himself. The younger one jumps up. "Died." AP: "Got aged to death." He thumbs to the aged self. "He looks about two hundred sweeps, but he feels like three. Heh, at least I aged well." TA: "What did you DO?!" She's shouting now. Her hand releases the frame and instead punches the wall. "What did you do, Nyarla? What IDIOT stunt did you pull this time?!" AP: He scoffs. "Would you actually listen if I tried to tell you?" TA: Her eyes flicker with some untold emotion and she drops her hand. "I've always listened to you, Nyarla. You don't listen to me." AP: "Except you haven't. Did you even hear a word I said to you when we argued? I'm not compromising my own sanity to make you feel like a good moirail for ignoring me when I need you." AP: His voice is cold and resolute, but the rest of his body language is neutral, betraying nothing. TA: "You were telling me how I should act." Her eyes harden. "I don't take orders from someone I'm supposed to be on equal footing with." AP: "I was telling you what I needed from you as a moirail. What I needed to cope with all of this bullshit and you'd rather hurt me than help me." AP: "I didn't tell you what to do or how to act. I only told you that how you were acting was only makinng things worse for me." TA: "Why couldn't you compromise?" Lorcan hisses, baring her teeth a little. "I'm not made to sit and listen. I'm not someone who can just sit there and not try and offer helpful suggestions." AP: "Compromise my own mental health?" AP: "Knowingly set myself back when I'm trying to move forward?" TA: "That's not what I meant!" She punches the wall again. "Gods stop blaming this on me!" AP: "Not what you meant, but what was happening." TA: She screams in frustration. "You wouldn't take anything I was saying as suggestion. You were taking it as "Lorcan doesn't listen to me, she only listens to everyone else." AP: "I'm not trying to throw blame at you. This is what was happening. I was dangerously close to flipping off the handle. And you basically told me to suck it up while you poked at me and drove me closer to the edge." TA: "I didn't tell you to suck anything up!" TA: "I was giving you other points of view other than your own!" AP: "You hadn't even heard mine. You interrupted when I'd tried to tell you." AP: "You couldn't hear me out because it's 'not like you' or whatever other dumb excuse." AP: "I didn't need another viewpoint, I needed someone to genuinely listen to mine for what'd feel like the first time." TA: "I offered a suggestion to something you said." She clenches her fist, digging her nails into her palm. "Just say it then Nyarla. I'm not a good moirail. Just get it out already. I know that's what you want to tell me." AP: He rolls his eyes. "There go those dumbass assumptions. It's not what I /want/ to tell you. It's what I'm thinking, but what I wish weren't true. I don't want to be here fighting with you, I'd much rather be making up." His voice and eyes soften by the end of it. TA: "They aren't dumbass assumptions, Nyarla." Her eyes flash angrily and she turns away from him and leans against the doorframe. She knows he can't leave the room. "Everything I've heard from you is telling me the same thing. That I'm a bad moirail. That I don't do the right thing when I only do what I know how to do." TA: "Tell me what got you killed." AP: He scoffs. "You're not listening then, because you'd know how this can be fixed." He plops down. "Wrong place wrong time." TA: She enters the room and shuts the door behind her and begins to pace. "Fixing this isn't as easy as you think. And besides. How could you have been at the wrong place at the wrong time if you were confined to this room? Explain yourself." Her arms are crossed over her chest and she waves one hand as she talks. AP: "I broke free. My ancestor was Troll Houdini, ya know." He smirks. TA: She stops and stares at him incredulously. TA: "Who killed you." AP: "Who do you think? Here's a hint, she told you earlier that she wanted me dead." TA: "And you still broke out." It's not a question. AP: "Yep." AP: "I mean, I could have come back here. I just...didn't want to." TA: "You knew she was mad at you, wanted you dead.... And you still broke out." Her hand slaps her face. Hard. AP: "Death is lame. It's just sitting here next to my older self." He shrugs. " Plan could have gone better, yeah. Sadly it didn't." TA: "Do you have any commmon sense?" Her voice is a little muffled seeing as she hasn't moved her hand from her face. AP: "If it were common, everyone would have it. Haven't seen you flaunting it around either." TA: "I stayed put when Libby imprisoned me because I knew that she could kill me without much effort." Lorcan looks out from behind her hand. AP: "Good for you?" He shrugs. TA: "That is common sense." Her hand drops. "You don't antagonize the ones who can kill you." AP: "Tch. You know nothing. There's so much more to it. To the situation, to me, to her, and onwards. Don't apply your outside perspective to the inner workings of that which you're not involved in. That, is common sense." AP: "This is dumb anyway. This arguement is dumb and I'm done having it." TA: "Wow." She walks to the door, but hesitates opening it. "Thanks for the insults. I didn't realize that you were still interested in me like that." AP: "Psh. Think what you will. It's not like you care to hear the truth from me." TA: "Why do you think I don't care?" Her voice is hurt. AP: "Because I don't know that I've ever truly seen it." TA: She laughs and it is a broken sound. Lorcan presses her forehead to the door and just. Sinks to the ground. TA: "You.... You've never seen me care for you." TA: "You make me sick, Nyarla." AP: "The one occasion you've really helped me could just as easily be fear in retrospect. Coupled with your insistance that I've never trusted you or that I seem to think everyone's against me. Your refusal to hear anything from me that's honest and isn't submission or kissing up." AP: "Is it really so hard to believe that I feel like I've been left out in the cold over here?" AP: "Seriously? Have you even spared a casual thought to what I might be feeling?" TA: She makes as disgusted noise in her throat. "You aren't helping your case. I messaged you immediately after I woke up here to make sure you were okay. I needed to make sure you were okay. I kept my own feelings quiet so that you wouldn't worry about me. And you think I don't care." AP: "Since that point, it hasn't /felt/ like you cared." TA: "Then you'd be wrong." Lorcan still has her head pressed against the door. "I try to be a good moirail for you, Nyarla. I'm doing my best." AP: "Then why are you always dismissing me? Brushing me off as overreacting whenever I have an issue?" AP: "I'm "jumping down your throat" when I try to tell you how I feel. I'm "hiding things from you" if I'm not. You're trying to be a good moirail, without actually letting your moirail open up to you." TA: "When have I done that?" Her voice rises in pitch. She's really upset. "I offer other points of view, my own point of view, and that's brushing you off as overreacting?" TA: "You got defensive when I said something to the contrary of what you said. I offered a suggestion." AP: "That's just it. You're still calling me defensive. You said something to contrary when I was trying to tell you the utmost, realest, truth. You ignored what I had to say, choosing to draw some shitty conclusion before any substantial exposition." AP: "That's the goddamn problem." AP: "You're here telling me how I should and shouldn't feel." AP: "What I should and shouldn't accept." TA: "Oh my gods I offered a suggestion! You don't have to accept them! Just consider for once that there are other ways to look at things!" AP: "Well I don't accept them." AP: "I'm open to other points of view, but you've got to accept that I have one of my own." AP: "Maybe you're the one who should be trying to see things from my perspective. You've definitely never tried it." TA: "Okay fine!" She shouts this and whacks her head against the door once for emphasis. AP: "Don't do that. Don't hurt yourself, please." TA: She laughs again. Her voice breaks. TA: "Don't tell me what to do." AP: He rolls his eyes, not that she could see. He looks between her and his older body, sighing. "I'm sorry." AP: "I'm dead, emotional, and sorry that all of this is happening. That we're fighting. That we're upset. That you feel like I don't trust you. All of it." AP: "If it'll save us...I'm willing to...compromise for you." TA: "Did you ever think, for one second, that this is all too much too quickly for me?" Lorcan sinks further to the ground, if that were possible. "Did you stop for a moment and think that maybe, just maybe, your moirail is just a six sweep old highblood who got thrown into a situation she didn't understand? Did you?" AP: "I'm combative because I'm hurt. But maybe if we can stop this fighting and calm down, I'll be a bit more open to suggestion." TA: "I'm trying my best to do everything that's expected of me, Nyarla." AP: "I'm not much older than you, pardon being aged to death. And my understanding of things isn't exactly grand." AP: "I only know more because I've been unlucky enough to bear witness the full course of fucked up shit that's happened. It's impacted me." AP: "Negatively, of course. And coping is...hard." TA: She rolls onto her back, her horns making her head sit awkwardly, but she doesn't speak. AP: "In a way, my coping strategy for all this is my recklessness. I know making up for all this would be pretty tough. But I'd like to try a new a coping strategy, being more understanding." He's not looking at her, eyes drifting everywhere but. It's almost as if he's ashamed. AP: "You don't have to forgive me of course, I'm only saying. I want to change." TA: "Start by realizing that I'm not Lorrea." She rolls onto her side, still facing away from him. AP: "I do." TA: "Do you understand why I'm saying that." AP: "Why? I'd hate to misunderstand." TA: "Would you?" She looks over her shoulder at him. "As much as I trust you and care about you, Nyarla, I'm far less tolerant than she is. Far less." AP: "Alright." He meets her look. TA: "That being said." She looks away and rolls to pull her legs up under her and sit up. "Do you require anything from the Archives proper? I believe I still have free reign." TA: "Unless Libby has decided to punish me again." AP: "Not right now, thank you though." TA: Lorcan nods once, but doesn't get up. "You're welcome." AP: He sits in silence, staring at his older self. TA: "Anything else?" AP: "Being old sucks." TA: "I wouldn't know." She turns around now. "I'm not the one who snuck out and now has to suffer the consequences." AP: "That's true." He shrugs. "Might be able to de-age him. Not sure how ghosts work." AP: "...pale for you." TA: "You wouldn't be in this mess if you had just stayed put, you know...." She doesn't respond to the second part. AP: "What's done is done. I regret it, but that won't fix it." TA: "Then fix the future." AP: "Working on it." TA: "Good." Lorcan stands up and wipes her face frantically before inhaling deeply. AP: He stands too. AP: "Thanks. For the second chance." TA: She opens the door before glancing back at him. "This is the final chance." AP: "I won't waste it." TA: "I would hope not." Before she closes the door, she smiles. "Try being kinder to Lorrea. She's really not as bad as you're making her out to be." AP: "I'll try." TA: "That's all I can ask, I guess." She smiles one last time and closes the door. -- teasingAsperity TA gave up trolling aproposProphetiae AP at 19:45 -- Category:Nyarla Category:Lorcan